3 Strategies When a Narcissist Won’t Let GoBy Moskowitz Law Group, LLC |
Having a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely traumatic. By definition, a narcissist is someone who has a very inflated sense of self-importance. They can demand an excessive amount of admiration, disregard others’ feelings, be self-entitled, and struggle with taking any form of criticism. Even if you have already severed ties with them, a narcissist may still take every opportunity to disrupt your life. If you have a narcissist ex-spouse who just won’t let go, we have some advice that may help. Below are three strategies to help you deal with your narcissistic ex.
Don’t Show Emotion
First and foremost, it’s important to avoid any kind of emotional interaction with your ex. Narcissists want to stay emotionally engaged with you, no matter the circumstances. Seeing you move on may feel like they are losing control, which is something narcissists have trouble tolerating. They may send you nasty text messages, emails, voicemails, disparage you to your friends or children, make false allegations against you, and make you feel like you are crazy or incompetent. Reacting in a defensive manner can only make things worse, as this is exactly what a narcissist wants. Instead, remember to disengage and stay calm throughout your interactions with them.
Change Your Communication Style
When dealing with a narcissist, it’s best to disengage as soon as possible. Defending yourself or making snide comments about your ex may be tempting, but it will only give the narcissist what they want: an emotional response and drama. Instead, keep things short and professional. It may be helpful to imagine yourself as a journalist simply reporting the facts of a story. Steering the conversation to only address facts and information that you need to discuss, such as logistics on financial matters and parenting children, will help you disengage.
Maintain Firm Boundaries
Setting boundaries for yourself and the narcissist in your life is key to moving on. Narcissists tend to believe that the only rules they need to follow are their own, while everyone else must bend to their will. It is important to remain vigilant with your boundaries to keep a sense of control and order in your life. Responding to your ex right away is not something you need to prioritize, unless it is a time sensitive issue. Don’t let a narcissist manipulate you into inconveniencing and disrupting your life just because they say so.
Dealing with a narcissist is challenging but implementing these strategies when you need to communicate with them can help bring some semblance of normalcy to your life again. If you are having trouble with a narcissistic ex, whether during the process of a divorce or a child custody case, contact Moskowitz Law Group LLC to see how our attorneys may be able to help.