7 Mistakes to Avoid During A Divorce
When you’re going through a painful divorce in New Jersey, there are 7 things you should avoid:
1: Not Understanding the Value of Having the Right Divorce Attorney
Getting the right outcome for your divorce is crucial to how you will be positioned when starting your new journey. Imagine if you needed heart surgery, it is likely you would only want “the best” working on your case. The outcome of the procedure can have long-lasting consequences on your life regarding your health and well-being.
When starting a divorce in New Jersey, your financial position, the time you have with your kids and your emotional well-being are all at stake. You NEED outcomes that give you the right access to your children and the right division of assets. An experienced family law and divorce attorney plays a pivotal role in a smooth transition through this phase of your life. Not having the right attorney on your side can cost you the relationship with your children, your financial and emotional health and, in many cases, avoidable mistakes are made that can be irreversible.
2: Not Realizing Every Decision Can Affect the Outcome of Your Case
Like navigating to a destination, the role of your divorce attorney is to be your “GPS”. You will encounter many crossroads. And at each one, you will make a choice that will contribute to the outcome. This is important because people often lose sight of their end goals and they may make poor intermediate decisions. Make sure you get advice from someone who knows the expected route and knows the crossroads.
3: Hiring an Attorney With Insufficient Divorce and Family Law Experience
While most restaurants will have a pasta dish, if you really want a good Italian meal you go to an Italian restaurant. With a divorce, there is a lot more at stake than a simple meal. A meal isn’t going to impact your life, but not having the right guidance could. If you were considering a generalist attorney ask yourself if they really have the same experience and knowledge in New Jersey family law.
Every divorce case is unique and typically emotionally charged. Family law can be very complex as there are different factors at play depending on your specific situation. An experienced family law team understands how to navigate each scenario and working with a qualified firm could help you avoid many mistakes during your divorce.
4: Having No Clear Vision of Your Post-Divorce Life
A good divorce attorney will work with you to clarify where you want to be and how you want your life to look after the divorce, giving you a clear path each step of the way. You don’t want to lose precious assets or access to your children. Divorce is often like a game of chess so you must be two steps ahead in order to accomplish your objectives while avoiding mistakes. Sometimes, you know you can lose a pawn if it supports the king and the overall victory. Having strategic, prioritized goals and a vivid picture of your outcome can help you get to your goal in a shorter time frame.
5: Failing to Maintain a Positive Mindset During Divorce
To develop the best mindset and avoid mistakes, you may find it necessary to alter your focus and change your perception.
Shift your focus away from any stressful situation. The more you think about and focus on what is stressful the worse it becomes for you emotionally. By shifting your focus and thinking about other topics you will notice that you become less stressed. For example, maintain your relationships with your friends and do not neglect your hobbies! This puts you in a better mindset and assists with decision making when dealing with difficulties during the divorce process. It also helps maintain your sense of calm.
Shift your perception by actively looking for the positive aspects of your situation. For instance, once you are divorced, you will be able to create a new life and see new horizons. We have seen that many of our clients who finalize their divorce are very happy and wouldn’t think of going back.
It may not feel like it in the moment, but change can be a good thing.
6: Taking Advice From Your Friends, Family, or Other Generic Sources
Your family and friends are your support network and love you, but every divorce is different. The worst opinion sometimes can come from your friends and family who went through a divorce. While they had a bad experience or a good one, it does not mean that you will have the same outcomes as each case is extremely unique.
They most likely do not have a full understanding of your legal situation and might not be able to give good advice. It is important to listen to other people’s opinion but keep in mind that this is their opinion and think carefully of the entire situation. Make your own best decision based on your life values and consult with your trusted New Jersey attorney who knows your case.
7: Forgetting That You are Separating From Your Spouse and Not Yourself or Your Children
It’s an avoidable mistake to think that you can’t be whole without your partner. You are already a complete and whole human being without your partner despite how it seems right now. Remember this during your divorce and the process will come to completion much more quickly and smoothly. It is extremely important to give your body and soul time to heal. Your existence in the marriage has been nurtured through a bond and a partnership that makes you feel whole because by yourself you feel incomplete. But this is not how life is. You are divorcing your spouse which is bad enough. Do not divorce yourself from yourself – You are whole on your own. This mindset will also help you find your next partner because when you are happy and fulfilled, people are naturally attracted to you. Functioning as a whole and complete human being will also strengthen the relationship with your children.
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