Expect it to happen. The best thing you can do is prepare. How to prepare,
though, is the key when it comes to divorce. If you don't know how
to handle it, you're already set up for failure, hence you take notes
here and learn just a few strategies to try and minimize the heartache
and develop something positive out of your current family situation.
For starters, you want interactions to remain appropriate depending on
where you are in the relationship with your new significant other. Your
child may not understand if it's just two people dating. However,
if the relationship is getting extremely serious, and marriage is right
there on the horizon, preparing your child is crucial. If the child definitely
shows a great deal of disgust over your new partner, address it with him
or her specifically. The point, though, of asking, isn't to try and
change the child's mind, but to get some insight as to
why the child hates your potential spouse. A child hating the fact that the
person's not as funny as mom or dad vs. a child feeling upset over
the fact that the person verbally abused him or her creates a definite
line of understanding. Know what that line is.
Without a doubt, though, you have to support your new partner, if you're
on the brink of marriage. Dispel any fantasy of a 'reunion' and
try to minimize the jealousy by spending as much time as possible with
your child. It'll be quite the balance, but you have to establish
ground rules. Know, for sure, that this is a gradual process, a healing
method, if you will –
Because, for sure, your child needs help to move on. It's a new family.
A new period in life. This is only a step toward that direction in this
thing called divorce. Help your child make that step.