How to Tell Your Kids About Your Divorce

Divorce may be a sensitive topic to discuss in and of itself. It can be difficult to process, especially for children. When kids are involved in a divorce, properly breaking the news to them requires careful consideration. Taking time to consider how you will tell your children and explain your divorce may help ease them through it on an emotional level, while helping them maintain some sense of security. Every family and child handles divorce differently.Using an age-appropriate approach tailored to your children often helps them process what they are feeling.

Pick When and Where

Considering the “when and where” is crucial when you intend to speak to your children about your divorce. Waiting for a time or creating one where the family is generally calm and relaxed is best. Doing it when emotions are running high due to other stressors usually makes it more difficult for children. Prioritize making the kids feel safe when you speak to them. If possible, have both parents present to break the news together to explain the decision to divorce in an age-appropriate manner. This unified approach also reinforces the parents’ love for the children and provides a sense of security. It is crucial to ensure the children that they are not at fault and their parents will love them just the same, even if they are apart.

Explain the Situation in Simple Terms

How you go about breaking the news may vary depending on the age and maturity of your children. If you have younger children, simpler explanations of what changes in their daily lives will look like are best. Should you have older children, expect more complex questions regarding the reason for the divorce. Avoid blaming your spouse and involving your kids in your marital issues. Ensure you get the point across that the decision was made by the parents and is not the fault of the kids, while reassuring them that they will still be loved and cared for after the divorce.

Be Reassuring

The uncertainty a divorce brings to children’s lives may be frightening to them. Taking the time to reassure your kids that the family is still present for them, despite the dynamics of the family changing, goes a long way. It helps to be open to questions about the divorce and to give honest answers. Creating an open dialogue to help the kids express their feelings and emotions could prevent distress from building up over time.

Stay Consistent and Honest

Children are usually able to tell when information is held back from them, which could potentially lead to trust issues with their parents when it comes to the divorce and in general. Not everything needs a finite answer, especially if certain aspects of the future, such as living arrangements, are not squared away yet. Being open about such things builds trust with your children and can put them at ease.

Seek Professional Help

If your children seem to be having difficulty that you do not know how to handle, you should consider seeking help from a qualified counselor or therapist with expertise in children’s issues. Your children’s school psychologist or guidance counselor is a great place to ask for help or a referral. It would not be the first time that they have helped a student deal with their parents’ divorce.

Speak With Your Children To Help Them Understand

Telling your kids about your divorce may be challenging, but doing so in a careful manner can make a significant impact on how they handle the divorce on an emotional level. Should you find yourself in the midst of a divorce and are unsure of how to proceed, our team at Moskowitz Law Group, LLC is a phone call away. Give us a call today to schedule your free consultation to get the help you need.